Oh the ripples of one night…one decision…wrong information…the lies…no help…
Learning to live happily while in a Marriage to someone I wished to flee but could not. This is my life’s challenge and it is in realizing my accountability for my own personal joy that actually makes it possible. No one has the power to make you happy or unhappy, they can certainly test your fortitude and focus on either but surely with self love, balance and good health even the most unpleasant of circumstances can be weathered. Are you following my storm, my journey, my life? In spite of many odds against me I continue forward marching, God’s little soldier for truth, decency and love. They may encamp around me but what can man do to me, God is on my side!
Next week I turn 40, it is lucky I have made my own plans for else there would be none. How isolated I have become from those who love me and whom I love. All so that I may be a Mother to my children but I do it gladly as I recall how my own mother was too busy searching through life for her calling; to fulfill her motherly duty. I will not repeat that or many other cycles from a dark family past that I have had to confront, survive and I suppose at this point in my life publicize so that it may help another young girl or a middle aged one like me… to in the words of Winston Churchill “Never Give Up.”
As women the choices we make in our career, bedroom and within our own minds impacts the lives of our children and we must therefore be WISE and where we are not seek council for the decisions we make influence the future.
The best part of there not being anyone to help…you get back up and help yourself, at least that’s what I did…survival doesn’t mean by any means necessary, necessarily… but it sure does mean…not by the means advised by those who didn’t take the time to understand or care about the specifics of your circumstances in the first place…
I feel it’s getting to be about that time; to get RAW… In the following weeks I will be disclosing some more very personal and very real stories all from MY own LIFE. Names of people and Companies will be … Continue reading →
When you are caught up in regret…when your desperate decisions where made during desperation and your now more clear mind would have chosen differently…the spiralling of hopes gone wrong and the sinking feeling of not being able to stop and turn back time…
It’s about walking by faith…never sit…so I must keep moving, hoping and recreating opportunity to find a way to what I have always wanted…a home…security…love
It is such an upwards battle for those of us that come from homes of destruction, violence and abuse…the world is tainted and our very own perspective formed from untruths…the reprogramming of a child’s mind into that of a healthy adult one most certainly assumes would require models to base the new foundation…and yet where there are none, or where they are foreign and far, in other’s families or their experiences…one must analyze and construct a vision of what they believe to be true…I have God but my fear is for the child/adult who does but is not aware and therefore sees only the lies and never the truth clearly…May we all be blessed with instinct for truth and let the lies, the destortion of natural evolution by man’s hand cease!
Art I Found Walking Through Copenhagen Sept. 2012 It’s so hard when you just can’t see your next move. When the mere thought of the unknown is earth shattering. The belief that it will be better is essential, for it is only by hope that we are kept moving. So that we may achieve our goals, accomplish our dreams and be better people all round. Give without wanting, love without needing and move forward without fear!